Great article. :)
This is my second installment of my Mindfulness and Relationship posts. For the first click here! :)
2. Feeling insecure- I think insecurity is about 50% based on how the partners acts and about 50% on how you think about the actions. In my past relationship I felt completely insecure. There was not a day that I went by I didn’t think something was going on with him.
He always acted very sketchy with his phone and facebook,and it always seemed like he was lying about his whereabouts—-these are his/her actions. That 50% you have no control over, The only thing you can do about this is to call him/her out. I didn’t and that was my mistake.
When I was not with him my mind was creating these crazy, outlandish scenarios about what he’s probably doing and I literally drove myself crazy.—-these are your thoughts and this is the 50% you do have control over. You have to realize:
1. There is 1 in about a billion chances that the crazy scenario will play out exactly the way you planned out in your head.
2. There is no point in worrying out it before something happens because if it happened….you just worried twice.
3. The present moment is always better— so focus on that. :)
As I mentioned in my previous post I recently started a new relationship. This is the first romantic relationship I’ve been in since my “mindfulness journey” began, so I’ve been trying to implement the mindfulness practices and it is making me feel more secure and happy than I’ve felt in a long time. I decided to make a post about mistakes that people (I) tend to make in relationships and how to avoid them using mindfulness. Originally I was going to put it all the mistakes on one post but then it got really lengthy so I broke up the posts into mini posts. :)
1. Judging partners past relation (relationship) history- this use to be a BIG issue for me. The funny thing is, when I really looked deep into this I realized that no number was going to make me happy. Having no history was just as bad in my mind as having 2, 5, 10 or 50 relationships. Because in my mind, having no experience meant that this person is desperate for a relationship and I was the first person who was interested. And having a long history just scared the crap out of me because that meant that I was going to be in the history soon enough. Both of these claims are complete outlandish.A persons worth or value should not be based on a persons relationship history Life is a journey you meet a lot of different people along they way and some people will mean more to you than others. End of story. There was no good number. The problem was me. I had to internalize the fact that he is no longer with those people and now he is with me. The experiences that he gained from those relations or relationships made him a better person for me.